Last night my baby boy had me up all night and I just couldn’t get him to calm down. He has not been sleeping well at all lately and, exhausted, I was at the end of my rope. I was tense and frustrated and about to lose my mind. Suddenly I found myself singing songs from the old Southern Baptist Hymnal at 4 am. Songs I have not thought of, much less sang, in years. It’s interesting to me that, in some of my most desperate moments, I find these old hymns playing through my mind. Last night I alternated between these two gems:
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus
There’s just something about that name
Master, Savior, Jesus
Like the fragrance after the rain
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus
Let All heaven and earth proclaim
Kings and Kingdoms will all pass away
But there’s something about that name
Without him I would be nothing
Without him I’d surely fail
Without him I would be drifting
Like a ship without a sail
Jesus, Oh Jesus
Do you know him today
You can’t turn him away
Oh Jesus! Oh Jesus!
Without Him how lost I would be
As I sang these songs, Lucas eventually settled down to sleep and I had an amazing peace wash over me. A peace I have not felt in a really long time. I thought about how I hear people say to look for God when things are tough, that God can be found in even the most desperate situations. Now, up all night with a baby probably doesn’t truly qualify as desperate but sleep deprivation is a form of torture so you can decide for yourself how desperate lack of sleep can make a person feel.
And I had been praying. Boy had I been praying, for this child to sleep. I kept thinking of the verse in Psalms that says “God gives sleep to those He loves” and starting to wonder if I was not among the loved! But then when these songs seemed to flow effortlessly from my heart and this peace enveloped me I realized that God was there with us, that just as I was holding my baby, he was holding me, giving me the strength to endure and do what I needed to do for my child. I say it a lot, and maybe you have too: I have no idea how people make it in this life without the Lord. Indeed, without Him how lost I would be!
By the by, I looked up that verse in the Psalms… “God gives sleep to those He loves.” It’s a Psalm of Ascent and its found in chapter 127. I was interested to read the context of this short Psalm, particularly in light of my sleepless night:
A song of ascents. Of Solomon.
1 Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain.
2 In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat—
for he grants sleep to those he loves.
3 Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.
4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.
5 Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.
I love that the verse about sleep in right before the verse about how children are a blessing from the Lord 🙂 I guess the Lord knew that many a sleepy parent would go looking for that verse and need to be reminded of that!
This post is one of several in the series “31 Days of Life as I Know It.” Click here to see a list of all posts in the series.