I remember when I was a teenager I would have never been caught eating alone in a restaurant or going alone to see a movie. I could barely tolerate going to the mall alone. If I did find myself on my own and needed to eat I would get food to go and eat it in my car. The thought of sitting alone at a table by myself made me more anxious than pretty much anything.
It wasn’t until I got my first job out of college and moved to Atlanta that I found myself growing comfortable with doing things alone. I moved to a place where I hardly knew a soul, so if I wanted to do certain things, I would be doing them by myself. It was here I first ate alone at a sit-down restaurant and went to a movie on my own. I still felt a bit uncomfortable, remember this was before smart phones so you could either stare off into space or read a book, no iPhone to keep you occupied. But I did it anyway and the more I braved these thing on my own, it got easier and eventually became enjoyable.
Fast forward to today, nearly 15 years later and one of my favorite things is doing stuff alone. I relish the time to myself, and despite having an iPhone, I often prefer staring off into space while I eat or drink a cup of coffee.
My parents typically get up to see us about once a month and while they are here I take advantage of the time to run errands sans kiddos. This week I found myself alone for lunch one day, and as I sat with my food and my thoughts, I remembered how there was a time in my life where I wouldn’t be caught dead doing the exact thing I was doing right then. After feeling proud of myself for being such a big girl, I wondered what changed? Obviously maturity plays a role, confidence, priorities etc. I was really trying to understand how something I used to dread became something I looked forward to.
Then I started to think about the things that would be good for me to do that currently make me uncomfortable and wonder if there will come a day where I overcome those discomforts. There are definitely some things I would like to try or feel like would be the right thing to do but for various reasons make me feel so uncomfortable I just choose to ignore them.
I am hoping and praying that I will grow and mature in these areas so that I can overcome these hang ups and move into a new season of trying new things that I’ve been afraid of or reluctant to try.
So as I sat there eating lunch alone, something I never thought I would have the nerve to do, I wondered if there will be a day in the not so distant future that I will grow to become more comfortable and willing to step outside of my comfort zone. Who knows. Maybe one day these things that seem so scary will become things I actually look forward to, like eating alone 🙂
This post is one of several in the series “31 Days of Life as I Know It.” Click here to see a list of all posts in the series
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