How to Have a Marriage Without Regret

I am a conservative.  I am sure that any regular readers of this blog are already thinking “tell me something I don’t already know!” But I say this because, I feel that as of late I have come to be a little more conservative than I have ever been.

I’m not talking politics, or social justice or even the Church.  I am talking about my marriage.

My husband and I lead a small group of newly wed couples and we are doing a study on “A Marriage Without Regrets” by one of my spiritual heroes, Kay Arthur. Watch this quick video to get an idea of what the study is all about:

What I have really valued about this study is that every point Kay teaches is rooted in scripture.  I was surprised to see that most of what we can learn about the relationship and roles of men and women can be learned from the first man and woman in the Garden of Eden, but we also have considered other Bible verses important to marriage such as: communication, the roles of men and women, and how women need love and men need respect.

As I continue to read and meditate on what the Bible has to say about how men are wired and how women are wired, I am finding that, understanding our differences and what makes me unique as a woman and what makes my husband unique in a man, has great implications on how we live out our married life together as “the two becoming one.”

The thing is, God’s principals as taught by Kay in this study are pretty conservative.  Some of my peers may even say radically conservative or “her interpretation” or “those principals are ancient and don’t apply today.”  But I believe that the word of God is unchanging, and that the Bible has one meaning and many applications.  Therefore, I can look at what the Bible has to say about men, women and marriage and apply those concepts, successfully, to my life.  In fact, my husband and I are striving daily to apply these concepts, and by God’s amazing grace, we are seeing the fruit of our surrender to him.

I say all of this as a preamble to some posts I am going to try to write over the coming weeks.  I have been thinking about how to begin sharing what I have been learning on the subject, primarily because I myself am surprised at how God is changing my heart and renewing my mind, distinguishing with crystal clarity the differences between His plan for marriage and the World’s plan for marriage.

Then today, I heard that there is a summer challenge going on with some other women bloggers that falls in line with the things I have been learning about through my Bible study on marriage.

Now that this preamble is complete, allow me to introduce a new series on my blog.

I am participating in a summer challenge with other women bloggers led by Courtney at “Women Living Well” called the “Completing Him Challenge“.  I am a little late to the game, but I am purposing to join this group of like-minded women who want to love (respect) their husbands better and are willing to be accountable to others in this online community.

If you want to join in, go on over the Courtney’s blog and check out the details of the challenge.  I am looking forward to seeing how God works as a result of this interesting opportunity.

Finally, I want to post the following preface/disclaimer to this series because I have previously received some hate mail/comments in the past when I have shared my personal story and experiences on my blog and I want to avoid that if at all possible.  Please know that I don’t expect all of you to understand this, in fact, I would have probably disagreed with myself on some of these principals 5 years ago.  But I really believe that the World has conditioned us to call this conservative approach to marriage “crazy.”  I fully understand and have experienced first hand the tension of reconciling my independence and individuality with what the World calls an ultra-conservative point of view.  And I am not trying to evangelize anyone who reads this to think like me or follow me, although I would be pleased to know that you find what I share here encouraging.  You don’t have to agree with it, you don’t have to like it, I just ask that you respect that this is my testimony of what God is doing in my life (a.k.a My Living Canvas).  I am not really here to debate or argue my beliefs, I am here to tell a story of what God is doing in my life and let that story do its work as God wills.  My prayer is that all who read these posts will have hearts open to God and be willing to attempt to put into practice God’s principals and design for marriage.  And if you disagree, please do so with respect.  Thank you!

4 Comments Add yours

  1. Momma says:

    Wish I would have had all of this information and resources years ago.
    I know what you mean by becoming more conservative in your marriage. I believe I have too and I really like it that way.

  2. Nice post. Good luck with everything.

  3. I was directed to your blog by Mandy Smith who is a friend of mine from childhood. She believed that we are on the same journey as far as our thoughts on marriage. I taught a class at my church on submission (b/c I need growth in that area). I have provided you a link to my blog where I posted materials from the class. You have to read them in chronological order to really see my development. If you have the time and the interest, take a look, especially the post on 5/27/10. That was a pivotal moment for me. I look forward to your posts on the topic.

    1. AnnieLaurie says:

      Hey there, thanks for stopping by! Sorry its taken me so long to respond. But I appreciate your comment and hope you will keep in touch!

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